Stop It!!

Is anyone else just plain creeped the fucked out looking at John Travolta's mug from Hairspray? Son of a bitch it makes me want to punch something. Those beady little eyes, which are way too close together, that big round hair, fat face, and that god-awful smile. FUCK! I refuse to post a picture here as is the norm for the topic, since I can't bring myself to put you through the terror that is this man-thing, but if you must, here it is in all its creepy, fucked up glory:

http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g52/Hairspray-Movie-Musical/edna_closeup.jpg

I'm sure Oprah gets all wet looking at this picture, since she loves Travolta I hear. I've also heard she loves to eat box. So there ya go.

And I'm in the pet shop today picking up dog food when that new song from Maroon 5 comes on, and I can't get it out of my head. I can't. The worst song, by possibly the worst band, by possibly the worst band name since Counting Crows. Ever. Who is this music for? Men who like to fuck other men in their assholes? Probably.

Stupid, retarded Travolta.

Spoiler Alert!! Spoiler Alert!!

Like millions of supermodels and children, my wife is retarded about Harry Potter. I'm out at my favorite 24 hour cigar establishment last night, and on my way home I decide to be life giving. It's about 12:34 a.m., and I remember that the new Harry Potter book is on sale. I make a detour to our 24 hour Kroger to see whether they have them in stock so I can pick her up a copy. She'll wake up in the morning, and there it will be, waiting for her. She will be all too grateful, excited, turned on.

Sure enough they have the book. Because I don't read Harry Potter and could give a shit less, I decide to read the last two chapters of the book standing there, alone in Kroger. Harry Potter likes to F other boys. There, I didn't spoil it and told you something you already knew.

And as for the wife's excitement of her morning gift? Let's just say she couldn't have been any less excited than if I had picked her up a pack of cigs and a sixer of Silver Bullet. I'm a schmuck.

We Like To Make Funny T-Shirts

My friends and I love making hilarious T-Shirts. Different pictures, images, characters, etc. You can only imagine the hilarity that ensues. Only imagine.

Thus, send me your CARAZY T-Shirt ideas since I seem to be running out of them. Actually, I'm not running out of ideas, it's just that if someone wants a custom made T-Shirt without all the hassle of paying way too much for the real, licensed thing, then I'm your guy for a reasonable price. Men, women, babies, old people, dead people, doesn't matter. I can meet your funny (or sad) T-Shirt needs.

Yes, I am trying to whore myself out to the world, and dodge copyright law all at the same time. Got a favorite movie character, scene from a movie, band, animal, vegetable, or mineral? Contact me and your wildest dreams will be partially fulfilled.

I Know This Is Distasteful But

Fuck Charlie.

Lightsabers and Alcohol

A friend showed me this. Thanks Sill. Enjoy.

Building On What Someone Else Started

1984 is the best movie year...ever. And if you try to tell me differently, then you are wrong. As usual.

Beverly Hills Cop
Blood Simple
Ghostbusters
The Killing Fields
The Terminator
Amadeus
Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom
The Karate Kid
A Nightmare On Elm Street
Once Upon A Time In America
Gremlins
The Muppets Take Manhattan
The Neverending Story
Splash
Top Secret!
Dreamscape
The Natural
Police Academy
Revenge Of The Nerds
Sixteen Candles
Star Trek III: The Search For Spock
Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo (what?)
Red Dawn
Bachelor Party
C.H.U.D.
Purple Rain

I'm sure there might be others, but whatever, you get the point. And "Time Permitting, Frank Sinatra?" Hilarious.