Like millions of supermodels and children, my wife is retarded about Harry Potter. I'm out at my favorite 24 hour cigar establishment last night, and on my way home I decide to be life giving. It's about 12:34 a.m., and I remember that the new Harry Potter book is on sale. I make a detour to our 24 hour Kroger to see whether they have them in stock so I can pick her up a copy. She'll wake up in the morning, and there it will be, waiting for her. She will be all too grateful, excited, turned on.
Sure enough they have the book. Because I don't read Harry Potter and could give a shit less, I decide to read the last two chapters of the book standing there, alone in Kroger. Harry Potter likes to F other boys. There, I didn't spoil it and told you something you already knew.
And as for the wife's excitement of her morning gift? Let's just say she couldn't have been any less excited than if I had picked her up a pack of cigs and a sixer of Silver Bullet. I'm a schmuck.
3 comments:
Did you see all those tools standing in line? It's not like it's a Star Wars convention people get a life! nerds
Sorry, I spoiled your chivalry.
Dude, nerds don't do Star Wars conventions, we know that.
And chivalry is indeed dead, but it's not your fault I assure you.
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