Bait and Take!

So the wife, sister-in-law, Duck and I took a weekend vacation. The wife and her sister pushed on to NC to visit a new arrival, while the Duck and I kicked it in VA for the weekend so he can get his shit this week and move back to the beautiful weather, clean river, and GREAT sports teams that is the 'Ville. God I hate this city. I had a great time. But to make a long story kinda short, Saturday was "All Sports Saturday." We awoke around 11, watched some of the 'Arrested Development' marathon on G4, and decided to check out the situation at the local public baseball diamond/football field to either, you guessed it, hit some baseballs or play some football.

When we pulled up, there were 4 (later 5) high school age kids already throwing a football around. They asked if we wanted to play. We said sure. Turns out these kids play on the local high school football team. Only two could actually play. But what makes this story half way interesting (or funny) is that one of the kids who was on our team stood about 4 foot something, was fast as hell, even without proper shoes, and who we were sure was a bit. . . retarded. Well, not TOTALLY retarded, but kinda slow, you know? Two crazy fucking midgets in the past two weekends? How can this be??

His football advice/orders were priceless. Like, "Bait and Take!" wherein you play off a receiver, bait them into getting a pass, and then intercept. Bait and take! We played for like an hour and a half. Our team dominated. I haven't done anything close to exercise since the last time I played a pick up game of football, and that was like a year+ ago, but I didn't suck. I just couldn't breath. Anyway, their youth be damned, we were fucking tired and sore, and had to call it quits. As we were driving away I remarked that I kept wanting to call our short teammate "Eazy" after Compton's own Eric "Eazy-E" Wright. Mixing "Bait and Take!" with Eazy's lyrics provided comedy gold the rest of the weekend. We rested, watched more 'Arrested Development,' watched Kentucky beat LSU (whatever), and then went back up there to hit baseballs for an hour. Then we watched the Red Sox get beat.

Football, football. Baseball, baseball.

I can't feel my shins.